You are unaware of my presence. Working in the kitchen, your back to me, you bend over the solid oak table, rolling out pastry. The swell of your delicious firm buttocks drives me wild with desire. In my back pocket I have four silk scarves, and I know exactly what I intend to do with them. As I walk up behind you, my footsteps alert you, so I bound forward and grab your hair, forcing your face forward! "Don't look at me, no screaming, and you will not get hurt!" I force your head down, in turn curling your body from the waist, your long torso taking up the contour of the table. I use my knee to force your powerful firm thighs apart, I take a scarf from my pocket and slide my hand down your leg to your ankle. I bound your joint to the table leg, and in turn,bind your other ankle to the opposite leg. Your thighs are spread so wide, I can feel your calves flexing and trembling, which makes your gorgeous buttocks shudder. Now I bind your wrists , and anchor them to the table top.I walk. That was the week they died. It would be the day I found out they’d left everything to my husband. We never packed. Just moved into the master bedroom with my daughter in my former room.“Let this cup pass from me,” I whispered as I bowed my head at the back of the church. That was what Jesus prayed. And look what it got him. I begged God for answers. I begged him to take me back to my own time. I begged him to let me die and just be dead. I was in hell. I’d suffer through birth, marriage to a bastard, the disapproval of my parents, the shame of my classmates. I’d live in the same house I was born in until the day I finally cut free and divorced him. I’d get a job selling real estate and carefully save as much as I could. I’d push Jesse until he actually made something of his life. Before I ended our marriage, we’d be considered successful, ‘in spite of everything.’ And miserable. I’d be able to recount every time we’d had sex in twenty-five years of marriage. But I’d stick it out for.
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